Women in the U.S. held the majority of jobs for the first time in almost a decade at 50.04% as of December 2020, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Women also control spending and drive spending decisions in most American households. My experiences making purchases tell me that many salespeople are clueless, and desperately need to learn how to market and sell to women.
After my divorce in 2008, I moved into a condo and later purchased a home in 2013 without any assistance. I also purchased each of my daughters their first car and two vehicles for myself (5 in total). I rented out my 2013 home and co-signed a lease agreement for my daughter to get an apartment after my boyfriend and I decided to buy a home together. In 2019, I added a pool to the backyard of our current home. Since 2008, my income has more than doubled.
Because my career has been in managing benefits, pension, investments, and other types of vendor contracts I feel fairly comfortable as a consumer when making decisions. However, my experiences with salesmen has been quite mixed as I’ve found myself in situations that provided evidence there’s still a major disconnect with the female audience. Especially in the service industries that are male owned.
Although this is certainly not true in every case, I find that my requests are often dismissed even after I politely ask for something; thereby, leaving me to feel disrespected, uncomfortable, or stereotyped, and, as a result, those men don’t earn my trust or my business. So, despite your good intentions you may be making a few blunders you’re not aware of because women know when they are made to feel that they are being treated differently by their male counterparts. Here’s how to close that communication gap — and hopefully, the sale.
Don’t treat us differently than men
I once had a timeshare in Puerto Vallarta. In 2015, I booked a trip with my boyfriend in tow. Prior to my arrival I was contacted by the timeshare sales office and told I would need to attend a sales presentation when I arrived because of changes to my timeshare agreement. In exchange I would receive free services such as a massage. After I informed the person that I was now divorced he told me my ex-husband needed to sign a document stating that I had the “authority” to make changes on the timeshare agreement. I obtained the signature and returned it since our contract was in both of our names, but it still angered me since I had paid for it and not him.
I attended the timeshare meeting alone and was informed about new features they now offered. I can only guess that perhaps the contract from 10 years prior was not as profitable as the newer ones, or they just wanted to upsell me. Halfway through the discussion with the male salesperson he stepped away after receiving a telephone call. He returned with his manager in tow and informed me that no changes could be made to the contract since it was still in both my ex-husband’s and my names. I was happy to end the meeting and still got my freebies. My boyfriend and I had a wonderful stay that week and returned home. However, my experience put a bad taste in my mouth that led me to pull the plug and sell the timeshare within two years. They lost my business because I was the sole decision maker in this deal but was left to feel I had no say in what I wanted.
Salespeople, you may respect women most of the time but unknowingly send signals that say otherwise. For example, while most men understand the importance of offering a handshake, not all do. I worked for one employer that at the end every group meeting the CEO would walk around the table to shake the hand of every man in the room before leaving. Make sure to shake hands with all the women, too. Understand and respect boundaries and never substitute a handshake for a hug. A handshake — a firm one. Not the limp handshakes I’ve been offered by vendors, colleagues, and clients that tells me I am not being extended the same level of respect as the men in the room. The same goes for eye contact. Maintaining it is a sign of respect and also makes women feel heard.
Can I trust you?
If you say you are going to do something, do it! Don’t deliver subpar work and expect us to put up with poor quality that we know you would never pull with a male counterpart. And, if I point it out to you don’t ghost me. During the construction of my pool last year, I used the contract electrician that had been referred to me by my pool builder. After I met with the electrician we agreed I would need to have Southern California Edison (SCE) move the electrical line feed from the house to the pole, so that it didn’t hover over the water, and the electric panel would also need to be upgraded to accommodate the new pool and jacuzzi equipment. The contractor was a bit sketchy about committing to a price for the work that would be done without knowing where the SCE line would ultimately end up; so, I was quoted a price range ($2,000 – $2,400).
You see, what he really wanted was to charge me to completely install a new panel on the side of the house and feed the electrical line into it that way. I explained to him this was not going to be necessary as I had used an architect to measure the yard and draw the plans precisely to what was needed. He didn’t know I had already visited the City to obtain all the necessary information about their codes and requirements. Moving the panel was not only unnecessary but would only serve to drive up the cost. That aside I thought, “You’ve been involved with thousands of pools. You really don’t know what can/can’t be done? Give me a break!”
The electrician finished installing the new electrical panel as discussed; however, he did a terrible job with the installation of the pole that fed the electricity into the house. Basically, he slid the mounting plate under half of our roofing shingles and then bolted the base of it to the plywood, leaving half the plate exposed and half covered by roofing shingles. With my roof now in complete disarray I was concerned that rain would result in roof leaks due to the exposure.
I contacted the electrician to let him know he needed to return and fix my roof with the tiles that I had left him on the side of the house. He did not respond to me. I politely resubmitted my request two more times and still no response. I then took a picture of the roof with the electrical pole and sent it to him with this message, “If you do not finish the repairs to my roof within three days I will be posting this picture of your work and your business information on Yelp, the Nextdoor application, and on the local city community forums with a negative business review.” Magically, he showed up the next day and finished the repairs.
Often, men assume that women are easily talked into something because their unfamiliar with the subject or haven’t done our research….”We need to relocate the electrical panel…” What the electrician didn’t know is that growing up I lived in a house that my father completely remodeled room by room, so I learned the remodeling process from personal experiences. Please don’t assume that because I’m a woman I cannot make rational decisions nor comprehend the process. If you want a woman’s business, you must show her that she can trust you. You can’t do that by bending the truth and we can sense when you are trying to take advantage of us.
Women have had too many experiences where a man doesn’t complete a job as promised. Don’t make us feel like we’re begging or that we have to pull out the “bitch card” and threaten you into completing the work that we have paid you to do. If you want a woman’s business, don’t avoid the details or lie about what you have promise to deliver. Talk facts and tell us the bottom line. If it meets with our approval, we’ll buy it — but you best deliver because a dollar has the same value regardless of one’s gender.
Approach us with an open mind.
After my boyfriend and I bought a home together there were several things we wanted to do to modify the interior. The closets needed reconfiguring and the hardwood floors in the main living areas needed to be extended into the bedrooms. Together we had already done quite a bit of research into the type of flooring we wanted. Ready to buy, we drove to several local flooring stores. Now what you need to understand is that my boyfriend does not have any patience when dealing with salespeople, so I am almost always the point person. 9 times out of 10 he will immediately inform a salesperson that I am their customer…not him (with emphasis as he points his finger to me). Couldn’t be any clearer, right?
Wrong, as has happened countlessly on previous occasions, I was dismissed as the buyer. The male salesperson kept trying to engage my boyfriend by asking him directly about the square footage and other types of installation questions. My boyfriend kept redirecting the salesperson back to me and repeated that “She is your customer!” About halfway through the encounter we both became agitated and ended our store visit. As you can image, we will never go back.
In other sales situations, my boyfriend is asked questions about his career whereas the questions directed toward me is whether we have any kids. Is the assumption that I don’t have a career? Or that my role must be a mom because of my gender? Or that I don’t have my own money to pay for an entire house of flooring? Or maybe that I simply couldn’t know what I want because I’m a woman….just step aside and make your grocery list and let the men do this deal.
Many of these salesmen, I’m sure, were well-intentioned and just trying to connect. And perhaps these strategies have worked for them with other women in the past. Times have changed and so must your behavior. Women find this type of treatment insulting and you have now lost a potential customer…money that I’m sure you could have used in 2020 during the pandemic, when sales were down but people were still spending money on improving their homes after spending more time in them. The lesson: Be intentional and don’t make snap judgments about woman not being the consumer when they walk into your store with the men in their lives. Forget any preconceived notions you may have been raised with on traditional women’s roles and simply pay attention to the message the woman is sending you and listen to their needs.
The dynamic between men and women in professional situations is changing, and now, more than ever before, it’s crucial to be aware that what you’re communicating with your words and actions might not be sending the message you’re intending. Treat all people with respect, show them they can trust you, and go into conversations with an open mind. More importantly, if you want to be effective selling to women both now and in the future, you’ll need to gain a new level of awareness in who your audience is.
Why is this an important concept?
As markets emerge women are the world’s most powerful consumers, and their impact on the economy is growing every year. When closing a sale with a female consumer, keep these things in mind:
Women purchase in multiples. We are multiple consumers all in one. We serve as primary caregivers for children, our parents, and anyone else living in our household (i.e. pets…a 99-billion-dollar industry in 2020), as well as for teachers in need of classroom supplies, extended family and friends.
Watch your blind spot. Gender is an extremely powerful lens that can cloud your judgment and determine how you see the world and everything in it…a blind spot. It’s more significant than any other demographic. Most employers do not do a good job of training their staff on this important topic and some advertisers are clueless (i.e. AAMCO commercial where the women walks in and begins to imitate the sounds her car is making…because she obviously couldn’t know when she has a radiator leak versus needing a new transmission…see it here: https://youtu.be/oo_Z4KLhPfI
Women are different in different cultures. Black women, white women, Asian women…each culture and race honor their women differently. Gender savvy salespeople should understand the cultural differences that dictate behaviors such as common courtesies and perceptions. Not to confuse things even more but a woman may look white on the surface given her appearance but also be 30% African-America, and at the same time identify as a non-binary man.
What’s in a name and does it tell the whole story. Even if I am not the purchaser it is highly likely that I am the gatekeeper keeping the household budget. His name may be on the credit card or sales transaction, but he isn’t necessarily the decision maker.
We are women first and consumers second. The way you make us feel has a long memory and we will go out of our way not to make future purchases with you. Women may be more highly likely to give a negative business review than positive one because she is more likely to ring the bell to let others know of her poor experience. We want other women to know they have options and their purchasing power matters. Women are united by their roles as caregivers, relationship builders and communicators.
Service is a key differentiator. Because women tend to have higher expectations for customer service, when you elevate the customer experience for women, you elevate it for everyone. For me, Home Depot does it right. Having grown up in houses being remodeled I know that if I walk into a store…any store…I know I’m going to get a knowledgeable salesperson that is going to answer all my questions regardless of my gender. They strive to develop strong relationships built on trust, honesty and integrity and provide high-quality service to their customers in every store. As such, I will drive past my local hardware stores to get what I need because women are loyal customers.
I would love to hear any other comments you may have on your experience when making purchases. Have you had similar experiences?
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